A Confession
by just another emo fangirl
Summary: Castiel confesses his love to Dean. It goes over... Less than perfect. Destiel.


Castiel will admit, he doesn't understand any of humanity's obsession with gender and sexuality. They just hate people to hate people. Shouldn't they be looking for a good soul?

Some people look pretty until you get to know them, that's what Sam had said. That's not a problem for angels though, angels see souls first. They can will themselves into seeing a human's physical form, but for the most part, it's just souls.

You may ask what a soul looks like, but it's not just a thing of sight. A soul insnares the senses.

Sam's soul is bright but, broken. Flickering, teetering on the edge of dimness. His soul smells of fresh laundry and old books. It sounds like a hum or a dogs bark at a strange frequency.

Charlie's soul, it's neon. A kaleidoscope of color. It smells sweet and happy, with a hint of the comic book store. She sounds like the weird music only she'd know. It's not really a song though. More like sound effects.

Now, Deans soul... Castiel spent hours admiring. It smelt like apple pie and liquor. It hummed a melody that could lul an angel to sleep. The eldest Winchester reminded him of sea glass. It looked like a stained window, a mural of green. It was cracked, a metallic black seeping through. The fractures span like a spider web. Cas know how much pain it takes to damage a soul... But it was so beautiful...

"Cas?" He heard a familiar voice say, "You're zoning out buddy. You okay?"

Cas nodded at Dean. There was a feeling in his stomach that being there... Alone with Dean, was so close to perfection. What was the missing piece?

"Dean... How would you describe love? Romantic love." Cas saw a short spark in the other's soul.

"I don't think I'm the best person to ask."

"I trust you. Just... Try and explain. Please."

Dean was taken aback at the angel's insistence but, answered anyway, "It's seeing someone and knowing you don't want them to ever leave. When they do, because they always do... You wish you could've said how you felt. Wish you knew how to express this feeling of..." The Winchester swallowed, "This... This is too girly."

"There's nothing wrong with females, Dean. Continue." Dean shook his head. "I just want to know if I'm defining how I feel correctly."

"I dunno Cas... It's just wanting to kiss their lips and hold their hands and make them feel safe. You feel so calm with them, but you have this fear of losing them..." He murmured, almost to himself.

"Dean?"

"Hm?"

"I think I love you." Cas saw Dean light up before shattering.

"Castiel... I don't think you understand. I'm a male. You're a male... You see what I'm getting at?"

The angel didn't lie. "Not at all. Sex has no effect on who you love. Besides, I'm not male. I'm a celestial being."

"But you're in a dude's body! It's gay, Cas. I'm not a fag."

There was a long pause. Dean radiated hurt and disappointment in himself.

"Why did you just demean others... I'm confused. Why is liking the same gender something to be ashamed of?"

"I..." Dean stuttered.

Castiel was angry now, why couldn't he just get an answer? "Is that really how you think? What about Charlie? The hunters you've met? What about the thousands of others?"

"Cas... That's not what I meant... I could never hate them. Ever. I just... I hate..."

He swallowed, rage broiling. "What Dean? You hate what, their 'lifestyle'? Their 'choice'? That they're 'pushing it onto you'? So, you call them some demeaning name. I didn't know you were like the people who claim to be on the side of god. You know him, Dean. There's an angel right here telling you: You are being unreasonable!"

Dean was crying and the angel faltered in his ranting. The Winchester spoke up, "Me. I hate me, Cas. I hate how I feel. I'm just a broken little soldier. My dad... He didn't even have a reason to hate people who were different. He just did. I heard him spewing bull until the day he died." He took a deep breath. "I could never hate anyone else for it. I nodded at what he and all the hunters he hung around with said. I don't believe a cent of it. I love Charlie, she's like a little sister. So, next time let me finish my damn sentence."

"Dean... I'm so sorry."

Dean shuttered and crinkled his freckled nose. "Cas, I wasn't prepared for this." He admitted. "But, I love you... May I kiss you?"

"Please do."


End file.
